


Beating Heart

by kirschtrash



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Had to get this out of my system, Light Angst, M/M, inspiration from tumblr, jeanmarco, just enjoy yo, quick one-shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 02:39:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2675858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschtrash/pseuds/kirschtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How could I save him, when I couldn't come to make myself move? How could I move, when panic took over me so suddenly, that I was not myself anymore?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beating Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry i just needed to get this out of my system. Okay enjoy yo

_**Beating Heart** _

 

I was running through the cramped streets, my legs hurting, and my lungs on fire.

 _Fire_. Everything around me was on fire, flames rising as high as the sky, the black smoke clouding thickly over me, under me, around me. I was breathing it.

My breath came in short pants, ragged and rough. Sweat trickled down my face, neck, nape, and it felt as if I myself were on fire. Maybe I was. But I couldn’t care less. I still ran, my body almost flying, burning with every step I took.

I was looking for someone, some _one_ that I couldn’t recall just as yet. It felt as if my body was working on its own; I was turning around alleys and running past houses like I owned the place, even when I didn’t know it at all.

It wasn’t until I turned around one last alley, and stopped at a dead end, did I learn who I was looking for.

My eyes grew wide, my mouth hanging.

He was cornered in to the thin alley, a Five-Meter Titan looming over him with its nasty face, its mouth hanging open widely, and tongue lolling out.

Marco’s face betrayed the utter fear he felt; his eyes completely wide, tears streaking down continuously. His whole being shivered in fright, and his legs gave way underneath him, as he fell down. He backed up against the wall of a house on fire, the flames licking at everything it could find.

His lips wobbled, as they wordlessly mouthed _please don’t kill me, please no, please no._

I stood fixated.

I couldn’t move.

My best friend was suffering.

And I couldn’t move.

He was going to die.

And I couldn’t fucking move.

The Titan extended his hands towards him.

There, a scream erupted from Marco’s throat so loud and so _fucking gruesome_ , that I could have died right there. He screamed as the Titan closed in on him. He screamed as the Titan picked him in his death-grip.

He looked at me at that second, and screamed. _So fucking loudly_.

There, I fell apart. There, I fell all my tiny bits burst in to ashes, and there I felt everything inside of me melt in to nothingness.

And even then I couldn’t fucking move.

Tears rolled down my face as he was lifted up to the Titan’s teeth. Now Marco was screaming my name so loudly that his throat had gone hoarse from the effort, his face leaking blood from ever opening.

I sunk to the ground, my knees banging in to the bloody floor. _I felt numb._

I screamed, but no sound came out. I tried moving, but no movement was made. I pleaded to _please save Marco take me but not Marco_ , but no one was listening.

Marco continued screaming my name. Even then I couldn’t move. He was shaking his head in fear, and even then I couldn’t move.

 _Fire;_ I was on fire.

 _Smoke;_ my insides disintegrated in to nothing, only a pile of fuming ash.

 _My breaths_ , now almost finished, decreased as I whimpered soundlessly.

 _Marco_ , still screaming my name, his voice growing louder and louder and so fucking loud that my ears could have blown out;

And even then all I could do was stare.

“Jean!”

I closed my eyes, praying to end my life there.

“ _Jean!_ ”

As Marco awaited his brutal death, I only stared;

I couldn’t save him.

“ _JEAN WAKE UP!_ ”

I jolted up, finally awake.

I was panting, sweat slick all over my skin. Even with the blanket over me, I still felt cold, shivering like a leaf. Panic had bubbled inside of me, brewing till the brim, and I was scrambling, clawing at something – _anything_ – to anchor myself on to.

My fingers reached Marco’s shirt, clutching his shoulder aggressively as my panic brewed, breathing roughly through clenched teeth. Marco hugged me, rubbing the back of my neck soothingly, as he whispered, “ _It’s okay, it’s okay, just breathe._ ”

I took my time, wheezing evened-out breaths against his shoulder, until I leaned my forehead against his. His brown eyes, with freckles scattered around them, looked at me with such concern and care, that I could burn underneath that loving gaze.

As my tunneled vision corrected itself, I clearly stared at him back.

He was there, his warm breath fanning against mine, his heat mingling with mine as we sat on our bed at the dead of night, his fingers tracing my nape and scalp.

He was there, in front of me.

He wasn’t… wasn’t…

It was a dream.

My eyes watered, threatening to break down again. Before his expression would flip over, I seized him by his shoulders. He yelped in surprise as I made him lay sideways. I lay down behind him, his back against my chest. I took my hand and rode it under his shirt. He gasped at my cold hand that splayed across his warm chest.

I nuzzled my head against the back of his neck, and I placed my hand right over his heart.

He was rigid, frozen.

For a second, I couldn’t feel a thing, and panic threatened to break all over again.

But then I felt it.

_Da-thump, da-thump, da-thump..._

“Jean…?”

My eyes watered again, and this time I couldn’t control my tears. I chose to dig my face in his neck, holding his chest firmer, and my other hand wrapping around his waist from underneath him. I just fucking wanted him closer. I didn’t want to lose him.

When he heard my sniffling noises, he must have felt my moist tears, because then he softened, and sighed softly. He chose not to speak, because he knew exactly how I felt, and that I needed some time just _being_ with him. I hated how fucking weak I looked then, but I couldn’t care less.

After a long, silent pause, I spoke softly:

“I couldn’t save you.” My voice came out a lot more wobbly than intended.

He paused, and then entangled his fingers with mine that was wrapped around his waist. He gripped it warmly, and there I could have fallen apart. I loved him so much.

“Shh, I’m here. I love you. I’m always here, and I’m never leaving,” Marco whispered, “I’ll be with you through it all; thick, thin-“

“Till Death do us part?” I whispered, lifting his hand up, so that I could see the thin silver band around both of our fingers, glinting under the faint moonlight.

I could feel his smile. “Till Death do us part.” he agreed, as he kissed my knuckles.

I kissed his neck softly, and even though my tears didn’t quite subside, I felt at peace.

I felt at peace, as he was so close to me that I could feel his heart beating with life.

His beating heart kept me alive, after all.

 

* * *

 

[I'm on tumblr yo](captaink-irschtein.tumblr.com)

 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry The Silent Ones chapter 3 is under the making, you're gonna have to wait a tad bit longer bc exams.
> 
> But i'll be posting little silent headcannons on my blog, so you can go check em out ayyyy


End file.
